More compliments, please!

I think it was just yesterday that a "fit" and lean young girl exclaimed to me "Look how little you are!", and I have to say at first I thought it had to be a joke of some kind. (perhaps a short joke?)
I might have stuttered out a "thank you", along as a "are you kidding me?". Not the most classy way of accepting a compliment. Oh well, hopefully there is a next time.
So, bring on the compliments. Please!?

Weekly Check In

Current weight : 185
BF%: 36.2
Well, it could be better. But that's okay. Its a work in progress. I would have like to see 6 or 7 pounds this week not just 4. just gonna try a little harder this week. Be a little more consistent. Work out one extra day or abstain from one more cheat.
Right, right?

Vegetable Disliker

I decidedly dislike vegetables. You heard me- all of you green, leafy, crunchy nutrient-rich veggies. Ugh. I want chocolate flavored broccoli florets. Or sparkly sugar-coated aspraragus spears. Or even some cheese carrots. You know, they look like carrots but actually taste just like cheddar cheese! Yes. This is my Wonka-like fantasy world. Welcome.

on again off again

For the past 2 years+ I've been blaming Kinsey, life circumstances, etc for my lack of success, but really I am the reason behind my own failure. Have those people, and things, and circumstances made it harder? Absolutely. But ultimately, grow up Heather, you're in charge. You have the choices right in front of you. 
Choose better.
Go for a walk.
Eat a vegetable.
Put down the chocolate.

Ready?
Go.

Week 4 AGAIN!!

Life is in my way.
I craved Red Robin: here's what I ate:

Banzai Burger

Serving Size: 1 burger 421 g

Calories 1,054

Total Fat 63g

Cholesterol 0mg

Sodium 0mg

Total Carbohydrate 69g

Dietary Fiber 3g

Protein 48g

 

steak fries adds another 390 calories! Plus dipping sauce!

OMFB: "Oh My Fat Butt!"

Second time through Week 4 of 20

here I am starting week 4- AGAIN.
That's okay.

Weight: 183    BF: 35.3

Rewind... going back 2 weeks

Okay, so the flu kinda knocked our family on its butt the last 10 days or so... so instead of trying to pick up with the mileage increase, I'm just gonna rewind 2 weeks. So if feel up to it on saturday I'll start there. I'm still weak and I don't want to make it worse by working out too soon. I'll check in again early next week!

Week 5 of 20

there has been a slight hitch for week 5. Kinsey got a cold and a stomach flu! so we are 4 days behind, I can't really make that up over one day...so oh well.

Think outside the Bun

Why, when I'm trying to be some kind of good does Taco Bell go and put my FAVORITE thing on sale for $.99???
That is just cruel and unusual punishment. Not fair. The whole world is undermining me!

Week 4 of 20

I did not get a chance to walk this weekend because I was in Klamath falls visiting my brother and he said it wasn't safe to walk alone and no one would go with me. Chickens.

Weight: 186 BF: 36.3%

Week 3 of 20

Okay so I didn't actually walk on Saturday- it was too hot! So I did it yesterday and it was still too hot! But I did it.
I must be going around too many times because my neighbor yelled at me "Only 2o more laps Heather!" and to which I said, "Yeah, right maybe in a couple months, I have just one left today!" and continued on my merry way.

Status: weight: 184.5 bf:36.1%

Week 2 of 20

Here we are- the middle of week 2. I have walked/jogged a total of 11 miles this last week and a half. I have tomorrow off, and then 3.5 more Saturday. I haven't lost any weight yet. But I feel better on those days I have walked. So that's encouraging. This is nothing like p90X, but its just going to get more and more time and energy intensive. next week is very similar to this week, but after that it starts to increase. I'm excited and nervous. 
I'll keep you updated. 

Starting Weight: 184.5 BF: 36.7% (yes, you read that right)

We Fall Down but We Get Up Again...

Well I inadvertently took 2 months off of blogging and exercising. Well we start again tomorrow: 6:30am! Not P90X this time, just walking/jogging. Maybe I can fit some weights in there too and some yoga. Probably canceling my gym membership. I'm really bummed about it, but I have been once in 2 months. And I just can't justify it anymore. I have a friend coming to walk with me 2 days a week, and hopefully I can keep it up the rest of the days. Lord help me!

There are 2 weeks left, but its over.

So technically we have like 10 days left, but I just have given up I think. I've had to start working out at home, which has proven to be impossible. I haven't given up, but I got a silly cold, and its hard to motivate myself to get up and left 12lb weights when i can barely breathe- forget about cardio.
Anyway, I'm trying not to be too discouraged. I just have to find something I can make work. I'm thinking I have 2.5 months to go... until, well that will come later.
So I think back to 1300 calories a day and more cardio. Lots of veggies, more fruit, whole grain carbs only, and lean protein. So the only change is little to no processed protein drinks and bars, lots more veggies and fruit and less protein.
I can do this, right?
Yeah, right, I'm not convinced.

I can't even sit without pain

Ok, I know I was so proud of myself yesterday for doing those "manly" push-ups, but today I could care less- I am in so much pain. And then *Darla made me do like a thousand or maybe a million arm circles this morning... and my shoulders hurt....and my back... and everything from the ribs up!


(* name has been changed for privacy)

Manly Push-ups

I did MANLY push-ups today!! I couldn't believe it! It was amazing. And I didn't skimp on reps either! We'll see how my arms and chest feel tomorrow! :)
I am pumped. Literally.

Soooo hungry

I am so hungry today. I started out the day feeling pretty good, but as the day goes on my hunger is getting worse. Yes I've been eating. In fact my hand is starting to look tasty. . . 
ok, maybe not. I guess I'll drink some water? Snore.

Workplace Workout

Would my co-workers be weirded out if suddenly I started doing lunges from my desk to the cash register every time the bell rang? Or if I walked across campus doing "high knees"? Or maybe I did squats at my computer instead of just sitting?
  I think often to how I can incorporate exercise into everyday moments and movements. there will come a day when I may not have time or resources to go to the gym once a day, and I wonder how I can add it in a little at a time without a major time investment all at once everyday. 
Have any ideas?
I would love to hear them!

There's no crying in yoga!

    I admit it, I cried in yoga on Saturday. What was I thinking you ask? I was thinking, " I am a complete loser, a fat, out of shape, inflexible, weak loser. I might as well give up living." Then we moved onto a move I could handle better and then I started to think about how it might just take the rest of my life to master yoga, and do I want to spend my life mastering that? is it worth my time?
 Some days yes, some days no. 
     Then life was even better because i got to put my stinky foot on the poor sap next to me, who happened to be Sarah E. Thanks Sarah- it was stinky for you but funny for me. I guess I really do find the misfortune of others funny?      "Who is that sad little person?"
    I was so sore from that evil workout with that the horrible personal trainer/workout buddy Heidi Stowman and those vindictive one legged squats, I could barely extend my legs all the way, which if you have ever participated in yoga you would know that is a huge disadvantage. I am still sore in my right leg especially that Heidi had to help me stretch it out this morning- and that's just sad.
   I gained two pounds, and I think it might be in lactic acid! That's a whole lot o' sore!
 

Pain as caffeine?

So as last night wore on my shoulders, chest, and back became more and more sore from yesterday morning's workout. ..so much so that it woke me up in the middle of the night and kept me up for almost 2 hours until I finally gave in and took some advil. My word.
        Now this morning I awoke with my alarm at a cheery time of 4:44am and went to cycling class, again. And my chest and back and shoulders let me know they were there and not happy about it all class long, and when I went to the store to find a new hairdryer because mine decided to die, I could barely hold my 20lb purse on one side for more than one minute at a time because it hurt too much. ...just sad.
        And as I was walking around Wal-Mart I heard a district manager or some higher-up going on and on about how the cashiers need to help out the service desk or something, and all I could think was "stop! stop complaining and being bossy its making my shoulders tense up, and that REALLY hurts today." but if I had said that, I might never be allowed back at Wal-Mart again. Although that might be a really good thing for the amount of stuff piling up in my house...
       So thanks Heidi for pushing me yesterday, I shall think of you everytime I use my arms, at all. And to my hubby, for annoying me enough to make me try heavier weights. :) And pain, thanks for keeping me awake today so far, you are much more consistent and effective than caffeine.

Fatigue

We talk about fatigue a lot in weight lifting and working out, but I just feel it ALL the time. Sometimes I feel tired in my sleep... I am seriously, mentally at least, addicted to caffeine, and its not even working anymore. I'm just walking around in a complete mental fog. Its ridiculous. Exercise used to give me more energy- but it seems to just be wearing me out. I just want to lay my head down and fall asleep, I don't even care if my back and neck get sore either...Just can I close my eyes for just a minute? Please...? ...So tired and bored.

Whoops!

I just gave up counting all those calories today. I don't know why. I finally lost 2 more pounds, and maybe I was just beyond caring anymore. I have to lose more bf, and not lean muscle. ...but I have to say I'm slightly addicted to what that scale says about me... I imagine it being like a celebrity and seeing what the tabloid says about me the next day. Am I obsessive? How do I choose not to care? Dunno. Suggestions?

The evils of condiments?

Still 186 pounds. I think my scale is just stuck there. Maybe it finally broke under my weight! Ha.  That would be my life- but the gym scale says the same thing- unlikely they broke at the same time.
Does the word condiments sound like "compliments"? like if I eat condiments, I should receive more compliments, but it doesn't work that way- unfortunately!
I can't seem to get my condiments under control. How do people do it? They just eat lettuce with no dressing, tuna without mayo, toast with no butter? Even with diet, chemically enhanced products I still go over my 50 calories. Geez.
Maybe next I'll eat only condiments. Ha. That would be so gross.
Maybe that thought will help me reduce my condiment intake.

Sick Day Due to Sore Muscles

I woke up this morning and tried to roll over to see the clock. It took me 3 tries to move. Everything from my hips up to my neck is in pain. I am so SORE! What did Heidi do to me?
Why? Does she hate me? I'm just there for her amusement aren't I? I can't even do those push-ups with the clap in between. I'm lame. 
I hope the phone doesn't ring, it hurts to reach for it. Its about 30 inches away. Too far. Way too far. 
Oh man, I have to call someone.

OH MY! YUM!

If I believed in the phrase "Yum-O!" I would say it, but then I would just be totally annoyed with myself and then at Rachel Ray for coining the phrase. I am drinking the most yummy mocha ever! Peanut Butter Crunch nonfat, sugar free mocha. It is like drinking a peanut butter cup! But without all the calories!
Oh man! I just finished it. Bummer. its all gone. :(

Ouch!

Ok, so I'm back down to 186 again. Geez. Talk about frustrating. I'm so hungry in the middle of the day these days... I don't know why the middle of the day seems to be my hungry time. 

I am already hurting so bad from our workout this morning, 

I walked 2.5 miles this morning on the tready, and then Heidi kicked my patootie. I think at one point I said if I could move my arms I would punch her in the face. But I couldn't so she was safe. It even hurts to type.

How do people stay in shape and not have to go through this energy-draining routine of MISERY?

&$^%$&)*!

Please enter expletives here___________________________________
__________________________________________________________!

Ok I feel better. I gained 2 pounds. Wouldn't know if its muscle, fat or water because the gym took away my analyzer that doesn't cost me $25 each time. So lame. Next employee I see I may just kick them in the shin.
Profiting off of my misery! They should be ashamed.

Nutritarian...

We should all be nutritarians and make our goal nutrition not just weight or calories or size. Ever hear of an ANDI score? Aggregate Nutrient Density Index.
Eating dense. Not more, not counting, but nutrient and micronutrient dense. Sounds kinda easy right? 
I wish it was in our society. I wish it was. I'm not there yet. (I love my soda and chemical sugar substitutes too much still), but after I reach my current goal- this may be my new one. I want a high ANDI score. You should too. It can help your body heal. Reverse the effects of heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, etc... that we've caused to our bodies through fried foods, and unbalanced eating.
I have so much to learn and so much more to change. God help me.

Checking in...

I'm excited today because I weighed in at 186 pounds! Yeah I know that's still huge- but I am encouraged. I just can't "celebrate" too much- right? right. I'd like to do 2 more weeks of this phase since I had the flu for 5 days of the 2nd week. That's 10 pounds in 3 weeks. I hope it will continue at this rate for the next 3 weeks... then I'll be down over halfway to my initial goal. I've decided that this is lifelong. Whether it be to lose weight- or body fat, or increase physical fitness. I should have a goal every year. A new one. We'll see.

Mind Games

I feel like my mind is playing games with me. I feel better, but then I look in the mirror or see my reflection and no- I do not look like I've lost any weight. Weird. 
Maybe I haven't? Maybe I have? Maybe its coming off of places I don't care about right now- like my thighs, or calves. Yeah like at this point in my journey I care if my calves have a little fat on them. Come on. Really? How about taking the fat from my ginormous stomach and the "fake" baby that resides there constantly? Maybe I should just start coming up with a new due date. . . and give up. No, not today. I will make it through today. Besides I have my sorry muscles to complain about... thanks to Heidi and evil push-ups. (don't get excited, they were on my knees)...

If I could know it all...

 I would choose to know my exact weight, body fat percentage, etc at any given moment. Every week I can't wait for weigh-in and at the same time dread it. Seriously there must be something wrong with me- mentally.
Can we say "obsession"? Yes, it is. Whether I am trying to lose weight or not. Eating is almost always on my mind (at least in the back of my mind). 
I need counseling. Maybe hypnosis. If I wasn't scared of being out of it I might actually try it...but too scary. And I'm not sure I could actually be hypnotized. . .my mind isn't 'open' enough...
 

Muffin Top

This morning I would have killed for a muffin- of pretty much any kind. Well, maybe not killed but certainly maimed.

Some days seem to come and go just fine without major cravings or hunger...and then there are other days- the ones that seem to beat you down like a alley mugging until you either give in, pass out or die.  

I'd just like to tell those days, like today, to f#@* off.

Bienvenue.. to my weight loss journey

in 2005 I lost over 40lbs, 

then I met my hubby, 

weight loss was stymied, 

we married and went on a 14 day cruise, 

5 pounds later...

i just started to lose again when...

SURPRISE- you're pregnant, 

35 pounds and 8 1/2 months later, 

Kinsey Jewel was born, and I was determined to lose again....

13 months has passed now, 

here I am up to 3 pounds shy of my 9-month pregnant weight, 

but not pregnant.

it's time...

so here we go...