Checking in...

I'm excited today because I weighed in at 186 pounds! Yeah I know that's still huge- but I am encouraged. I just can't "celebrate" too much- right? right. I'd like to do 2 more weeks of this phase since I had the flu for 5 days of the 2nd week. That's 10 pounds in 3 weeks. I hope it will continue at this rate for the next 3 weeks... then I'll be down over halfway to my initial goal. I've decided that this is lifelong. Whether it be to lose weight- or body fat, or increase physical fitness. I should have a goal every year. A new one. We'll see.

Mind Games

I feel like my mind is playing games with me. I feel better, but then I look in the mirror or see my reflection and no- I do not look like I've lost any weight. Weird. 
Maybe I haven't? Maybe I have? Maybe its coming off of places I don't care about right now- like my thighs, or calves. Yeah like at this point in my journey I care if my calves have a little fat on them. Come on. Really? How about taking the fat from my ginormous stomach and the "fake" baby that resides there constantly? Maybe I should just start coming up with a new due date. . . and give up. No, not today. I will make it through today. Besides I have my sorry muscles to complain about... thanks to Heidi and evil push-ups. (don't get excited, they were on my knees)...

If I could know it all...

 I would choose to know my exact weight, body fat percentage, etc at any given moment. Every week I can't wait for weigh-in and at the same time dread it. Seriously there must be something wrong with me- mentally.
Can we say "obsession"? Yes, it is. Whether I am trying to lose weight or not. Eating is almost always on my mind (at least in the back of my mind). 
I need counseling. Maybe hypnosis. If I wasn't scared of being out of it I might actually try it...but too scary. And I'm not sure I could actually be hypnotized. . .my mind isn't 'open' enough...
 

Muffin Top

This morning I would have killed for a muffin- of pretty much any kind. Well, maybe not killed but certainly maimed.

Some days seem to come and go just fine without major cravings or hunger...and then there are other days- the ones that seem to beat you down like a alley mugging until you either give in, pass out or die.  

I'd just like to tell those days, like today, to f#@* off.

Bienvenue.. to my weight loss journey

in 2005 I lost over 40lbs, 

then I met my hubby, 

weight loss was stymied, 

we married and went on a 14 day cruise, 

5 pounds later...

i just started to lose again when...

SURPRISE- you're pregnant, 

35 pounds and 8 1/2 months later, 

Kinsey Jewel was born, and I was determined to lose again....

13 months has passed now, 

here I am up to 3 pounds shy of my 9-month pregnant weight, 

but not pregnant.

it's time...

so here we go...