There are 2 weeks left, but its over.

So technically we have like 10 days left, but I just have given up I think. I've had to start working out at home, which has proven to be impossible. I haven't given up, but I got a silly cold, and its hard to motivate myself to get up and left 12lb weights when i can barely breathe- forget about cardio.
Anyway, I'm trying not to be too discouraged. I just have to find something I can make work. I'm thinking I have 2.5 months to go... until, well that will come later.
So I think back to 1300 calories a day and more cardio. Lots of veggies, more fruit, whole grain carbs only, and lean protein. So the only change is little to no processed protein drinks and bars, lots more veggies and fruit and less protein.
I can do this, right?
Yeah, right, I'm not convinced.

I can't even sit without pain

Ok, I know I was so proud of myself yesterday for doing those "manly" push-ups, but today I could care less- I am in so much pain. And then *Darla made me do like a thousand or maybe a million arm circles this morning... and my shoulders hurt....and my back... and everything from the ribs up!


(* name has been changed for privacy)

Manly Push-ups

I did MANLY push-ups today!! I couldn't believe it! It was amazing. And I didn't skimp on reps either! We'll see how my arms and chest feel tomorrow! :)
I am pumped. Literally.

Soooo hungry

I am so hungry today. I started out the day feeling pretty good, but as the day goes on my hunger is getting worse. Yes I've been eating. In fact my hand is starting to look tasty. . . 
ok, maybe not. I guess I'll drink some water? Snore.

Workplace Workout

Would my co-workers be weirded out if suddenly I started doing lunges from my desk to the cash register every time the bell rang? Or if I walked across campus doing "high knees"? Or maybe I did squats at my computer instead of just sitting?
  I think often to how I can incorporate exercise into everyday moments and movements. there will come a day when I may not have time or resources to go to the gym once a day, and I wonder how I can add it in a little at a time without a major time investment all at once everyday. 
Have any ideas?
I would love to hear them!

There's no crying in yoga!

    I admit it, I cried in yoga on Saturday. What was I thinking you ask? I was thinking, " I am a complete loser, a fat, out of shape, inflexible, weak loser. I might as well give up living." Then we moved onto a move I could handle better and then I started to think about how it might just take the rest of my life to master yoga, and do I want to spend my life mastering that? is it worth my time?
 Some days yes, some days no. 
     Then life was even better because i got to put my stinky foot on the poor sap next to me, who happened to be Sarah E. Thanks Sarah- it was stinky for you but funny for me. I guess I really do find the misfortune of others funny?      "Who is that sad little person?"
    I was so sore from that evil workout with that the horrible personal trainer/workout buddy Heidi Stowman and those vindictive one legged squats, I could barely extend my legs all the way, which if you have ever participated in yoga you would know that is a huge disadvantage. I am still sore in my right leg especially that Heidi had to help me stretch it out this morning- and that's just sad.
   I gained two pounds, and I think it might be in lactic acid! That's a whole lot o' sore!
 

Pain as caffeine?

So as last night wore on my shoulders, chest, and back became more and more sore from yesterday morning's workout. ..so much so that it woke me up in the middle of the night and kept me up for almost 2 hours until I finally gave in and took some advil. My word.
        Now this morning I awoke with my alarm at a cheery time of 4:44am and went to cycling class, again. And my chest and back and shoulders let me know they were there and not happy about it all class long, and when I went to the store to find a new hairdryer because mine decided to die, I could barely hold my 20lb purse on one side for more than one minute at a time because it hurt too much. ...just sad.
        And as I was walking around Wal-Mart I heard a district manager or some higher-up going on and on about how the cashiers need to help out the service desk or something, and all I could think was "stop! stop complaining and being bossy its making my shoulders tense up, and that REALLY hurts today." but if I had said that, I might never be allowed back at Wal-Mart again. Although that might be a really good thing for the amount of stuff piling up in my house...
       So thanks Heidi for pushing me yesterday, I shall think of you everytime I use my arms, at all. And to my hubby, for annoying me enough to make me try heavier weights. :) And pain, thanks for keeping me awake today so far, you are much more consistent and effective than caffeine.

Fatigue

We talk about fatigue a lot in weight lifting and working out, but I just feel it ALL the time. Sometimes I feel tired in my sleep... I am seriously, mentally at least, addicted to caffeine, and its not even working anymore. I'm just walking around in a complete mental fog. Its ridiculous. Exercise used to give me more energy- but it seems to just be wearing me out. I just want to lay my head down and fall asleep, I don't even care if my back and neck get sore either...Just can I close my eyes for just a minute? Please...? ...So tired and bored.

Whoops!

I just gave up counting all those calories today. I don't know why. I finally lost 2 more pounds, and maybe I was just beyond caring anymore. I have to lose more bf, and not lean muscle. ...but I have to say I'm slightly addicted to what that scale says about me... I imagine it being like a celebrity and seeing what the tabloid says about me the next day. Am I obsessive? How do I choose not to care? Dunno. Suggestions?